tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-94717382011-04-21T15:33:21.402-07:00Tales of Saburo, a friendsaburofriendhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06883380158890004061noreply@blogger.comBlogger71100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9471738.post-1129035393771769852005-10-11T05:52:00.000-07:002005-10-11T05:56:33.776-07:00The POOPIE List<br />Ghost Poopie<br />The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet.<br />Clean Poopie<br />The kind where you poopie it cut, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.<br />Wet Poopie<br />The kind where you wipe you butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your cheeks and your under wear so you don't stain them.<br />Second Wave Poopie<br />This happens when you're done poopie-ing and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize that you have to poopie some more.<br />Pop-A-Vein (In your forehead) Poopie<br />The kind where you strain so much to get it out that you practically have a stroke.<br />Lincoln Log Poopie The kind of poopie that is so large that you're afraid to flush it down the toilet with out breaking it into little pieces with the toilet... or the kind you write home to mother about.<br />Gassy Poopie<br />It's so noisy that everyone within earshot is giggling!<br /> Drinker Poopie<br />The kind of poopie you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticable trait is the marks on the bottem of the toilet.<br />Richard Simmons PoopieT<br />he kind you have to do so bad that you sweat 30 pounds off and smile about it!<br />The "Gee I Wish I Could Poopie"<br />PoopieThe kind where you want to poopie but all you can do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.<br />Spinal Tap Poopie<br />That's where it hurts so bad that you would swear it was coming out sideways.<br />Wet Cheeks Poopie (The POWER DUMP Poopie)<br />The kind that comes out your butt so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed.<br />Upper Class Poopie<br />When your SH*T (poopie) don't stink.<br />Mexican Poopie<br />When your poopie stinks so bad that your nose burns and your flowers die.<br />The Surprise Poopie<br /> You're not even at the toilet because you have fart when OOP's, a poopie (usually a wet one) The dangling Poopie<br /> This poopie refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done pooping it - you just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose.<br />Liquid poopie<br />The yellow-brown slurpy stuff that gets all over the toilet when you miss.<br />Ebs na Multo<br /> - ang tipo ng ebs na pakiramdam mo lumabas na sa puwet mo pero pagtingin mo sa inidoro wala naman.<br />Ebs na malinis<br />- ang tipo ng ebs na lumabas, nakita mo sa inidoro, pero wala sa tissue.<br />Basang Ebs<br />- ang tipo ng ebs kung saan napunasan mo na ng 50 beses ang puwet mo pero pakiramdam mo meron pa rin. kaya ang ginagawa mo ay maglagay ng tissue sa pagitan ng puwet mo para di matagusan ang pantalon mo.<br />Ebs the second time around<br />- tapos ka nang umebs, nasuot mo na ang panty o brief mo tapos mararamdaman mong there's more to come....<br />Ebs na pamputok ng litid<br /> - ebs na kulang na lang ay mapatid ang litid mo sa kakairi.<br />Ebs na ala Sharon Cuneta<br />- sa dami ng ebs mo, mangangayayat kang talaga.<br />Ebs ala Antonio Sabato<br />- ebs na sobrang laki at haba na nakatatakot na i-flush dahil baka maputol.<br />Ebs na maingay<br />- ang ebs na napakaingay ng pagbulusok sa inidoro na lahat ng nakakarinig ay natatawa.<br />Ebs na ala Mais<br />- lam mo na to eh. don't tell me di ka pa umebs ng ganito.<br />Mahanging Ebs<br />- ang tipo kung saan gusto mo umebs pero puro utot lang ang lumalabas.<br />Ebs na Ectopic<br />- ebs na ang hirap ilabas, feeling mo pahalang siya kung lumabas. Basa ang pisngi mo ebs - ang tipo ng ebs na sa sobrang bilis lumabas eh tumalsik ang tubig sa pisngi ng puwet mo. Aristokratang ebs<br /> - taong feeling niya ay walang amoy ang ebs niya.<br />Ebs na ayaw mawala<br />- ang ebs na nakakailang flush ka na pero meron at meron pa rin maliit na bilog na ebs na lumulutang.<br />Wrong timing ebs<br />- tipo ng ebs na di na panira ng timing. halimbawa, nasa party ka, o may outing, o kaya ay presentation o exam tapos bigla ka na lang matatae. actually, uutot ka pero sumasama na siya. kaya kung maglakad ka para kang tanga.<br />Won't Let Go Ebs<br />- ang ebs na matindi ang kapit at ayaw malaglag kahit umiri ka na nang umiri at igalaw-galaw mo pa ang puwet mo.<br />Taguang Pong ebs<br />- ebs na lalabas, papasok, lalabas, papasok uli, lalabas....<br />Ebs ng Kuneho<br />- ebs na maliliit na bilog na walang tigil sa kakalabas. Titigil ka na lang sa kakaebs kasi bored ka na at ang tagal mo nang nakaupo sa inidoro.<div class="blogger-post-footer">saburo and his tales....<img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9471738-112903539377176985?l=saburotales.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>saburofriendhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06883380158890004061noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9471738.post-1126825237136581202005-09-15T15:53:00.000-07:002005-09-15T16:00:37.153-07:00<p><br />IBANG POSISYON:</p><p>Husband: Shall we try a different position tonight?<br />Wife: Thats a good idea dear!... doon ka sa may plantsahan at ako naman ang uupo sa sofa at manoood ng tv.</p><p><br />PINOY INGENUITY?<br />A Filipino doctor has introduced the use of a device that en! larges a man's sex organ by up to 5 times with no side effects. It is called a magnifiying glass.</p><p>VIBRATING CELLPHONE:<br />Mrs: Bilis! Nahulog cellphone ko sa loob ng panty ko, "nagbavibrate."<br />Mr: E, anong gagawin ko? Dudukutin ko ba sa loob ng panty mo?<br />Mrs: Gago! Kunin mo yung charger, baka ma-low batt!</p><p>REGALO:<br />Mare: Di yata nagustuhan ni Pare ang birthday gift mo, ah...<br />Mrs: Oo nga, 7 months na, di pa rin ginagamit.<br />Mare: Bakit, ano ba regalo mo sa kanya?<br />Mrs: Memorial Plan.</p><p>KRIMINAL:<br />KRIMINAL 1: "Pare, sigurado ka bang dito dadaan yung papatayin natin?"<br />KRIMINAL 2: "Oo, nagtataka nga ako, 1 oras na tayo dito, wala parin siya! Sana naman walang nangyaring masama sa kanya...</p><p>SI GINO:<br />LOLO: Gino, paabot nga ng kape ko.<br />APO: 'lo, Gina po.<br />LOLO: Gino, paabot nga ng kutchara.<br />APO: 'lo, Gina po.<br />LOLO: Punyeta ka, Gino! Tigil-tigilan mo yang kabaklaan mo!</p><p>TUTPIK:<br />Kustomer: Ano ba naman itong tutpik nyo, iisa na nga lang, ang dali pang mabali!<br />Waiter (inis): Alam nyo, sir, ang dami nang gumamit nyan, pero kayo lang nakabali!<br /></p><p>CONFIDENT VS CONFIDENTIAL:<br />Anak: Itay, ano ang kaibahan ng confident sa confidential?<br />Itay: Anak kita, CONFIDENT ako dyan. Yung bespren mong si Tikboy, anak ko rin, CONFIDENTIAL yan.</p><p>FIRST LOVE NEVER DIES:<br />Anak: Inay, totoo ba na "First love never dies"?<br />Nanay: Aba, oo. Tignan mo yang tatay mo, hangga ngayon, buhay pa ang animal!</p><p>SUKO SA MISTER:<br />Mrs 1: Suko na ako sa mister ko, lagi na lang ako binubugbog bagoniroromansa...<br />Mrs 2: Mas grabe yung mister ko. Binubugbog ako tapos si Inday angniroromansa.</p><p>PAGOD DAW.....<br />Mrs: Ano ba? Two days na tayong kasal, 'la pa rin.<br />Mr: Kasi pagod ako.<br />Mrs: Sige ka, pag ayaw mo, maghahanap ako ng lalaki.<br />Mr: Sige, gawin mong dalawa, tig isa tayo!</p><p>PARI AT MADRE:<br />Pari: Sister, ikaw ba ang nasa CR? Kukunin ko lang toothbrush ko...<br />Sister: Sandali, naka-panty lang ako.<br />Pari: Ok, antay ako.<br />Sister: Pasok na, wala na akong panty!</p><p>ESTUDYANTE:<br />Bugaw: Sir, Chicks P1,500, estudiante!<br />Man: Ganun ba? Hanapan mo ako ng mga P1,000 lang pero mas magaling pa sa estudiante.<br />Bugaw: Meron din, sir. Ang PRINCIPAL, okey yun!</p><p>AFTER THE WEDDING:<br />Husband: Sinungaling ka, sabi mo virgin ka! Bakit kagabi maluwag na!<br />Wife: Ulol ka! Dahil lasing ka, katabi mo kagabi si mama!</p><p>PAMBOBOSO:<br />Anak: Inay, sinisilip ng kaklase ko 'yung panty ko!<br />Inay: Bastos 'yun ah! Ano'ng ginawa mo?<br />Anak: Hinubad ko at itinago ko 'yung panty, para 'di nya makita!</p><p>PROMOTION:<br />Judge: Ikaw na naman! Sampung taon ka nang humaharap sa korte ko ah!<br />Swindler: Your Honor, di ko kasalanan kung hindi po kayo ma-promote.</p><p>AMPON:<br />Anak: 'Nay, tinutukso po ako ng kalaro ko na anak ako sa labas!<br />Nanay: Hindi totoo 'yan, anak. Ang sabihin mo sa kanila, ampon ka!</p><p>ANG SULAT:<br />Patient: Dok, malungkot dito sa mental kaya naisipan kong sulatan angsarili ko...<br />Doc: E ano naman ang laman ng sulat mo?<br />Patient: Di ko pa po alam kasi next wik ko pa ata matatangap...</p><p>LIIT NAMAN:<br />Wife: Honey... bili mo naman ako ng bra...<br />Husband: Hon.. wag ka nang magbra...liit naman dede mo e..<br />Wife: E ba't ikaw, naka-brief!?</p><p>DOWNY:<br />GIRL: Ang puti naman ng bird mo...<br />BOY: Aba, syempre ah! Likas papaya ata gamit ko diyan!<br />GIRL: Ginagamitan mo rin ba ng Downy?<br />BOY: Baket? Bango ba?<br />GIRL: Lambot eh!!!</p><p>HIDE AND SEEK:<br />GIRL: Hide and seek tayo. If you find me, papayag akong makipag-sex sa 'yo...<br />BOY: Eh, kung di kita makita?<br />GIRL: Nasa likod lang ako ng piano...</p><p>MADRE:dalawang madre nirereyp ng goons....<br />Madre 1: Jusko, patawarin mo po sila...hindi nila nalalaman ang kanilang ginagawa!<br />Madre2: Ay, yung sa akin marunong!!!!<br /></p><p>RAPE SUSPEK:<br />ATTY: Inday, pwede mo bang idiskrayb dito sa korte ang taong nangreype sa 'yo?<br />INDAY: Maitim, panot, tagyawatin, pango ilong, at bungal...S<br />USPEK: Sige!...mang-asar ka pa!!!!</p><div class="blogger-post-footer">saburo and his tales....<img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9471738-112682523713658120?l=saburotales.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>saburofriendhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06883380158890004061noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9471738.post-1122601490175496432005-07-28T18:43:00.000-07:002005-07-28T18:44:50.190-07:00it seemed appropriate to introduce my baby in this chapter.<br />young...<br />new...<br />lots to learn about.<br /><br />wanna know when and where i met my baby?<br />here...<br />i mean someone introduced us...<br />few days ago...<br />a week or so.<br /><br />i'm trying hard to make it work this time.<br />no mistakes...<br />but i know there will be lots along the way.<br /><br />like my old babies,<br />i know i will learn again...<br />i will laugh...<br />i will cry...<br />i will hurt...<br />i will love...<br /><br />but this time,<br />i hope...<br />i wish...<br />i pray...<br />would last.<br /><br />my baby, oh my baby...<br />i'm so happy my baby came...<br /><br />one thing i promise though...<br />this time it will be different...<br />this time it will real...<br />this time it will be me...<br /><br />meet me baby...<br /><a href="http://petrifymeagain.blogdrive.com/">http://petrifymeagain.blogdrive.com</a><div class="blogger-post-footer">saburo and his tales....<img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9471738-112260149017549643?l=saburotales.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>saburofriendhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06883380158890004061noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9471738.post-1119381808763908662005-06-21T12:20:00.000-07:002005-06-21T12:24:42.420-07:00<span style="color:#cccccc;"><em><strong>Beauty Pagent:<br />The FINALISTS:<br />Miss America<br />Miss Spain<br />Miss Britain<br />Miss Philippines<br />Miss Iran<br />Miss India<br />Miss Japan<br /><br />QUESTION : Ms. America, how would you describe a male organ in your country?MS. AMERICA : Well, I would say that male organs in America are like gentlemen.<br />QUESTION : Why do you say that?<br />MS. AMERICA : Because it stands everytime it sees a woman.....(Applause!.... Applause!)<br /><br />QUESTION : Ms. Spain, how would you describe a male organ in your country?<br />MS. SPAIN : Male organs in our country are like toros in our very own bullfight.QUESTION : Why do you say that?<br />MS. SPAIN : Because it charges everytime it sees an opening.(Applause!... Applause!)<br /><br />QUESTION : Ms. Britain, how would you describe a male organ in your country?<br />MS. BRITAIN : Male organs in our country are like Shakespearian actors and Heroes.<br />QUESTION : Why do you say that?<br />MS. BRITAIN : Because it cries after every performance and because it is buried alive.(Applause!... Applause!)<br /><br />QUESTION : Ms. Iran, how would you describe a male organ in your country?<br />MS. IRAN : Well, I can say that male organs in Iran are like thieves<br />QUESTION : And why do you say that?<br />MS. IRAN : Because they always enter through the back door.....(Applause!... Applause!)<br /><br />QUESTION : Ms. India, how would you describe a male organ in your country?<br />MS. INDIA : Well, I can say that a male organ in India is like a labourer.<br />QUESTION : Why do you say that?<br />MS. INDIA : Because it works day and night....(Applause!..Applause!)<br /><br />QUESTION : Ms. Japan, how would you describe a male organ in your country?<br />MISS JAPAN: It's like an actor in a stage play....because it bows down after every performance. (Applause!..Applause!)<br /><br />QUESTION : Ms. Philippines, how would you describe a male organ in your country?<br />MS. PHILIPPINES : Ahh...well, op cors, hihihihi...I can say dat male organs in our country are like chismis...<br />QUESTION : Chismis???<br />MS. PHILIPPINES : Ayy! Sorry... Its ano, ahh kuwan...it means GOSSIP in our language.<br />QUESTION : Hmm... Interesting comparison. And why do you say that?<br />MS.PHILIPPINES : Ayy...Dyahe!!!!Hi hi hi hi hi hi...Kasi....I mean because it passes from mouth to mouth..(STANDING OVATION!!!)</strong></em></span><div class="blogger-post-footer">saburo and his tales....<img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9471738-111938180876390866?l=saburotales.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>saburofriendhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06883380158890004061noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9471738.post-1119306668536615442005-06-20T15:29:00.000-07:002005-06-20T15:44:24.963-07:00<em><span style="color:#ffcccc;">Isang gabi, naglalakad ang isang lalaki sa may tulay nang may makita siyang babaeng nasa taas ng gilid nito at magtatangkang magpatiwakal.<br />"Huwag," sigaw ng lalaki.<br />At sa kabutihang palad ay nakumbinsi ang babae at siya'y bumaba.<br />Lalaki: Ano bang problema mo't naisipan mong gawin yan.<br />Babae: Kasi, iniwan ako ng boypren ko't sumama sa ibang babae.<br />Lalaki: Miss, ganyan din ang problema ko pero di ko inisip na magpakamatay.<br />Babae: So, anong gagawin natin? Nag-isip sandali ang lalaki at sinabi...<br />Lalaki: Kung gusto mo, maghiganti tayo sa kanila.<br />Babae: Paanong paghihiganti?<br />Lalaki: Alam mo na ang ibig kong sabihin... (sabay kindat sa babae na nakuha naman ni babae ang ipinahiwatig na yon).<br />Maya maya'y nasa isang kuwarto na sila ng motel at nangyari na nga ang di dapat mangyari. Nang makaraos si lalaki, nagsindi siya ng yosi. Nang halos filter na lang ay biglang nagsabi si babae ng "Maghiganti uli tayo". Medyo pagod, pero pinagbigyan uli niya ang request ni babae. Nang makaraos uli, nagsindi uli si lalaki ng yosi. Nasa kalahati pa lang ang yosi.<br />Babae: Maghiganti uli tayo.<br />Medyo nangangatog na ang mga tuhod pero dahil sa hilig, muling pinagbigyan niya si babae. Muling nakaraos ang dalawa. Nagsindi uli si lalaki ng yosi. Unang hitit pa lang niya ay<br />Babae: Ganti uli tayo.<br />Talagang lupaypay na si manoy niya pero para huwag mapahiya ay muling pinagbigyan niya ang kahilingan ng babae. Pagkatapos kumuha siya ng yosi. Sisindihan pa lang nang biglang...<br />Babae: Ganti uli tayo.<br />Lalaki: 'TANGNA NAMAN! PATAWARIN NA NATIN SILA!!!!</span></em><div class="blogger-post-footer">saburo and his tales....<img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9471738-111930666853661544?l=saburotales.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>saburofriendhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06883380158890004061noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9471738.post-1119306281404188582005-06-20T15:23:00.000-07:002005-06-20T15:45:52.143-07:00<span style="color:#ff0000;">You Don't Know Me<br /><br /></span>You give your hand to me and then you say hello<br />And i can hardly speak my heart is beating so<br />And anyone can tell you think you know me well<br />But <span style="color:#ffcccc;">you don't know me</span><br /><br />No you don't know the one who dreams of you at night<br />And longs to kiss your lips longs to hold you tight<br />Oh i am just a friend that's all i've ever been<br />Cause <span style="color:#ffcccc;">you don't know me</span><br /><br />I never knew the art of making love<br />No my heart aches with love for you<br />Afraid and shy i let my chance go by<br />The chance that you might love me too<br /><br />You give your hand to me and then you say goodbye<br />I watch you walk away beside the lucky guy<br />Oh you will never know the one who loves you so<br />Well <span style="color:#ffcccc;">you don't know me</span><br /><br />You give your hand to me and then you say goodbye<br />I watch you walk away beside the lucky guy<br />Oh you will never know the one who loves you so<br />Cause <span style="color:#ffcccc;">you don't know me</span><br /><br />Oh no <span style="color:#ffcccc;">you don't know me</span><br />Oohh...<span style="color:#ffcccc;">you don't know me</span><br /><span style="color:#ffcccc;"></span><br /><span style="color:#ffcccc;"></span><br /><span style="color:#ffcccc;"></span><br /><span style="color:#ffcccc;"></span><div class="blogger-post-footer">saburo and his tales....<img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9471738-111930628140418858?l=saburotales.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>saburofriendhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06883380158890004061noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9471738.post-1102246347234463172004-12-05T02:57:00.000-08:002004-12-06T17:05:38.056-08:00<strong><span style="color:#cc0000;">"Like a virgin, <br />Touched for the very first time."</span></strong> <br /><em><span style="color:#ffcc99;">-Madonna</span></em> <br /> <br />Yeah, but more of <span style="color:#ff6666;">A</span> virgin than <span style="color:#ff6666;">Like</span>. The past few weeks were the scariest, most exciting and interesting first <strong><em><span style="color:#ff0000;">touches</span></em></strong> of my life. <br /> <br />Got shipped into <span style="color:#ff6666;"><strong>Mars</strong></span> and cried <span style="color:#3366ff;"><strong>"mama!"</strong></span><span style="color:#330000;">...</span>crept in to a <span style="color:#ff9966;"><strong>rathole</strong></span> and barely got out alive!...swam with <span style="color:#ff6666;"><strong>sharks</strong></span> and danced with the <span style="color:#ff6666;"><strong>wolves</strong></span>...subtle few i can recall but there are more i can <span style="color:#ff0000;"><strong>blow!</strong></span> <br /> <br /><em><span style="color:#3333ff;">Just stay tuned and ...yeah, stay tuned!</span></em> <br /> <br /><div class="blogger-post-footer">saburo and his tales....<img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/9471738-110224634723446317?l=saburotales.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>saburofriendhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06883380158890004061noreply@blogger.com0